


The Switch

by tinkr_tailr



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Gandalf is an ass, Gen, Hilarity Ensues, Loki thinks it's hilarious, M/M, Other, Steve gets his ass kicked, Thorin and Tony switch bodies, body switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 16:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkr_tailr/pseuds/tinkr_tailr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They woke up in the wrong bodies.</p>
<p>With the wrong person laying by their side.</p>
<p>Now this... this was just weird. Even by Superhero standards!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Thorin remembered falling asleep. Falling asleep in a warm bed, covered in furs and curled around the body of his small hobbit.

 

\---

 

Tony remembered falling asleep. In a warm bed and a large, warm, muscular body curled around his. Steve really was better than any heater, StarkTech or not.

 

* * *

 

 

So when Tony awoke to find himself much heavier than he remembered, with a solid head on his furry chest, still blond, but much curlier, it was natural for him to swear, scream, and fall flailing out of bed and onto the solid wooden floor. Huh. Even Steve's room didn't have a wooden floor...

 

When Thorin, on the other hand, awoke to find himself encompassed in a warm hold with solid arms around him,  he simply laid there for a moment, thinking things through before he decided to sit up, punch the solid blond square in the jaw with the meager, comparably, strength he had. The other man awoke shouting and falling onto the carpeted floor.

 

Whelp, the two agreed through dimensions, this was weird.


	2. Tony - Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus, where the hell had he landed himself this time?

                The door burst open, more like busted down, and a company of dwarves in sleepwear came running in, weapons at the ready. But instead of seeing little Bilbo in terror, they saw the sleepy hobbit staring down in confusion at Thorin, who was on the floor, blankets bundled around his naked waist. He was looking up at the dwarves with more astonishment than terror, that slowly turned into confusion and then… well, then Thorin passed out.

                When Tony woke up, he was in a bed with a small hand curled around his, blankets up to his waist, clothes now adorned his body. “Wa…” he muttered, voice deeper and rougher than he remember. “The hell?” He sat up in bed, rubbing at his forehead. “How much did I drink last night?”

                “Thorin?” a sleepy voice asked. Tony turned to see sleepy green eyes blinking up at him, frown pulling down plump lips.

                “No… Tony…” he answered slowly.

                That’s when the noise started. Tony looked out to see… beings stand up, humanoid in nature but obviously much shorter than a normal man. They had weapons drawn, eyes weary and stances defensive.

                “Thorin,” the tallest one muttered, head shaved but beard large and bushy. “No, you’re not Thorin, are ya?”

                The small blond looked between Tony and the… dwarf? “Dwalin, what are you talking about?” he asked, a bit outraged. “What are you talking about?! This is Thorin! I would know, he never moved last night!”

                “Okay, I honestly have no idea who this ‘Thorin’ guy is, but I’m sure as hell not him,” Tony said, holding his large, still-calloused hands up. “I don’t even know who any of you are! Not to mention what the hell kind of body I’m in! Seriously, what are you all?”

                Eyes widened around the room. Dwalin even dropped his ax.

                Tony could only figure this ‘Thorin’ person was a lot different than him.

                “We’re dwarves, young man,” a white-haired dwarf stepped forward, a gentle smile on his face. “The body you reside in is that of our King, Thorin Oakenshield. We should introduce ourselves, my name is Balin. My brother here is Dwalin.”

                Okay, so they were brothers.

                “I’m Dori.” Grey girly-braids.

                “Nori.” Star-hair.

                “Hello, I’m Ori!” Bowl cut hair, but cute.

                “Gloin.” Red-headed, gruff.

                “Oin.” Weird hearing aid thingy.

                “Bofur.” Hat. “This is Bifur.” Ax… in the head… huh…

                “Bombur!” Fat. Very fat.

                There were only three left now, the smallest male and two very young-looking dwarves.

                “I’m Fili, Thorin’s eldest nephew and his heir. My brother, Kili,” the blond motioned to the brunette standing beside him.

                All eyes now turned to the final male. He was looking up at Tony like he was a monster, someone who had stolen something irreplaceable… Oh. Now he understood. This male was in love with Thorin. Not just his lover, but…

                “Oh god…” he choked out, pulling his knees to his chest, which felt like it was caving in. Reality was beginning to set in. “Steve…” he whispered, breath coming in quick gasps, black edging at the corners of his vision. “Steve!” he was keening now, rocking back and forth, tears pricking at his eyes. A pair of arms surrounded him, rocking with him, trying to sooth, and slowly working.

                Once Tony had settled down enough to look at the male holding him, the blond smiled softly. “I’m a hobbit. My name is Bilbo Baggins.”

                “I’m Tony, Tony Stark,” Tony whimpered. “And… and I’d really like to go back home right now…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD THIS FINISHED OVER A WEEK AGO.
> 
> DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T POST IT UP.
> 
> YOU'RE WELCOME.


	3. Thorin - Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin meets the Avengers.

Thorin was tied to a chair, glaring straight ahead at the blond man that sat in front of him. The blue eyes reminded him of his beloved Bilbo, but the surety and command that echoed through the color were completely foreign to him.

“Now, I’m going to ask you one more time,” the feminine voice was icy, smooth, deadly. Thorin had quickly found out not to underestimate human females. They would fight dirty. “Where is Tony Stark?”

“And I shall tell you one more time, I have no memory of who this ‘Tony Stark’ is. Nor do I have any idea as to where I am in any sense. I know I am a man, but that is all,” Thorin muttered, eyes never moving from the man’s before him. The blond was done nothing but stare at him, after swearing at him after Thorin had punched him, of course.

“I think he’s telling the truth,” the man muttered, sighing and sitting back, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

“He certainly talks like he’s not from around here,” that was the darker blond, the sarcastic one. Fili and Kili would have gotten along with him…

“Maybe we should call Thor?” the only brunette besides the body he resided in asked quietly. “This man doesn’t seem to know anything…”

“I’ve told you that already,” Thorin muttered.

“Okay, your name again,” the woman demanded.

“Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain,” he introduced himself once again.

“Okay, can I be the first to say I don’t get the ‘King Under the Mountain’ thing? And the ‘son of’ thing? Cause that’s just weird to me,” the darker blond muttered, poking his head into Thorin’s sight. “Seriously, why should we care who your dad or granddad is?”

“Why would you not?” Thorin demanded, tearing his eyes away from the commanding blondes.

“Um… Because this is the 21st century?” The man chuckled. “Seriously, it’s like you’re from another world!”

“Um… Clint?” the timid brunette murmured. “I’m pretty sure he is.”

All eyes turned to Thorin. He shrugged. “It’s the only thing I can think of as to the reason for all this magic,” he muttered, eyes looking around the room once again. It was all so… shiny!

“Wow, I cannot believe I’m hearing that in Tony’s voice,” the blond said, enticing the rest of the room to nod in agreement.

“Look, maybe we should tell the guy who we are,” the brunette butted in. “I’m Bruce. Bruce Banner,” he murmured, stepping forward, face lit in a kind and timid smile.

“I’m Clint Barton!” the darker blond shouted from his place behind Thorin. “The beautiful woman over there is Natasha Romanov.” A dull thud was followed by an “Owwww!”

Thorin looked expectantly at the blond who sat before him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, looking to be in some sort of agony. “I’m Steve Rogers. And you’re in the body of the man I love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY LOOK.  
> A WILD UPDATE APPEARED.
> 
> I'm sorry, so sorry that I've been slow at updating... I shall take any punishment you see fit.


	4. Tony - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony realizes where he is, and Thorin's Company is utterly confused.

Tony had finally calmed down enough to listen and learn about the world he was in, and somehow… it was all a bit too familiar.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Tony finally held his hands up, thinking back to when he had still been in his world. “I… I know this story! The Hobbit! It was one of my favorite books as a kid, written by the brilliant author Tolkien.”

The dwarfs and one hobbit looked at poor Tony like he was insane. “Except, he made no mention of the fact that the Dwarven King was in a relationship with you, Bilbo,” Tony looked over to his new friend, who smiled slightly at the man inhabiting his lover’s body. “Interesting twist, though it would just make the ending all the more tragic, really…”

That made the others in the room stop.

“Ending?” Balin asked slowly.

“You… know how this quest ends?” The disbelief in Dwalin’s voice was palpable.

“Well… yeah,” Tony said with an odd look at the group. “Every book has an ending. Though why this particular one was so tragic, I have no idea, really.”

“W-why do you call it tragic?” Bilbo was nervous, terrified really. This… if Tony was saying that that his and Thorin’s relationship would make the ending even more tragic, then… then… Oh, he truly didn’t want to think about it. But it was the only reason he could think of! Either… either he or Thorin…

“Well, the line of Durin is effectively wiped out,” Tony said without hesitation. For a genius he could he quite dull at times. “Not by Smaug, of course, no, Bard takes care of him with a Black Arrow.” Well, there was hope. But Fili and Kili were becoming paler by the moment, moving closer until they were clinging to each other. Bilbo had moved to them, as well, given sanctuary in the young dwarf’s arms, and comforting them in turn.

“Are you telling me Thorin, Fili, and Kili are going to die?!” Dwalin was out of his mind with rage now, this stupid wizard of some kind was telling him that his greatest friend was going to die. The friend whose body this Tony was inhabiting.

“Well not now, obviously,” Tony muttered, looking at Dwalin like he was a moron. “Seeing as how my knowledge can help us take the necessary precautions against that! Of course, Thorin’s death was more his own pride getting in the way of anything else, so it’s doubtful whether or not we can actually do anything about that…” The room was left with mouths agape as Tony continued to ramble. “Another bright side of this is that we should be able to get through this without the gold madness taking hold! I mean, I’m not really a dwarf, and the fact that I’m pretty much immune to huge piles of wealth should help.”

At the further confused looks he was getting, Tony explained, “I’m one of the richest men in the world that I come from, since I’m a genius and all. So money is no big issue for me. I mean, if I wanted I could build an entire castle made of gold and it would barely make a dent in my annual profits.”

“The-wait-wha…?” Bilbo was forced to trail off as he watched Tony like he was a lunatic. In truth, the jury was still out. “How do you… Never mind!” He quickly amended as Tony looked like he was about to “explain” again. “I don’t want to know!”

“So, since I pretty much know everything about this place and you guys, the real question is how I get back!” Tony smiled. The group would soon grow to hate that particular smile.

How was he supposed to get back indeed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP I'M BACK I WROTE ANOTHER CHAPTER IT'S NOT LONG BUT WHO CARES IT'S A CHAPTER IN PREPARATION FOR THE REAL STUFF


	5. Thorin - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has arrived.

He would admit it any day of the week. He laughed. He laughed hysterically. When everyone glared at him like he was evil incarnate (jury’s still out), all he could do was slap a hand over his mouth to try and keep in the hysterical giggles. And apparently, that was when Barton realized what he was laughed at. The archer fell on his ass laughing, desperate tears forming in his eyes, because this situation was ridiculous and terrifying and tragic and completely insane and really, there needed to be a point in which they just _got it all out_.

Eventually, the good Captain and ‘Not Tony’, as his brother had so aptly put it, were the only one’s not laughing. Steve was glaring at him, while Not Tony still looked confused at how he came to be standing there.

“Oh, come on, Steve!” Barton slapped the Captain on the back, hard but nothing in comparison to rock that was a super-soldier. “Tony. In a Dwarf’s body. With no technology and only magic, which he hates, and twelve angry dwarves probably out for his blood! If that is not a funny mental image, I don’t know what is!”

Steve just turned to look at the archer. No, no this wasn’t funny. “Exactly. Tony Stark in the middle of the dark ages, where magic is very real. _Tony_. You know, the one whose entire life revolves around the ability to work with _anything_? The one who’s only alive because of _technology_?!”

The laughter stopped at that. Even Loki knew when enough was enough with the leader of the Avengers, and he could see the true desperation and terror that resided in those blue eyes. He had only seen that look once… It was how Thor had looked, as Loki had plunged into the dark depths off of the Bifrost. Loki stepped the smallest bit closer to his elder brother at that, who gladly encircled him with a strong arm.

“Captain, I am sure Clinton and my brother meant no disrespe-”

“I know!” Steve shouted. “I know…” this time the voice was quiet, lost. “I just… can we please just focus on figuring out how to set this all right?”

Thor looked to his brother, who nodded in understanding. Loki stepped forward, spreading his hands before him and projecting glittering objects and scenery, worlds and monsters jumping to life. Not Tony was drawn forward quickly, eyes wide at the magic.

“You are a wizard, then.” Aaaand that voice was way too deep for Tony. Loki recoiled in what could be construed as horror. “And you know how to return me to my noble quest and my company?”

Oh, this guy was going to have a _blast_ talking to Thor…

“Well… in theory I do,” Loki murmured. “And trust me, I’m hoping just as much as you it will work, because I’d like to have some intelligent conversation back…” All in the room but Not Tony and Thor glared at him. “You have no right to glare at me for that, Barton.” At that, everyone nodded. You’d think Barton had never been insulted by his, “Why I never!”

“Now, may I ask what realm you herald from?” Loki asked Not Tony politely. “And your name as well, none of these buffoons, not including you, my lady,” he nodded to Natasha. Even a god did not want to get on her bad side. And thank Odin Bruce was aware the insults were just the way he talked. “Deigned tell me.”

“I am Thorin!” Not Tony stood straight. “Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain!”

Loki nodded. “I am Loki, son of Laufey, Prince of Asgard,” he politely bowed to the higher ranking royal. “And I am no wizard,” he corrected in the same breath. “A God has no need of parlor tricks!”

Thorin looked him up and down, brow raised. “You are unlike any God we are told of in my realm!”

“Funny that, you’re not in your realm, are you?” Loki’s voice was covered in thinly veiled ice. “Well… more accurately, not your universe. You herald from Middle Earth,” the dreamscape-like illusion in front of them shifted and altered, showing a map, almost, with raised mountains and forests, alive like any normal map would not be. Thorin’s brow furrowed, knowing he was looking at his homeland.

“How do you know this, Prince Loki?” Thorin asked softly, astonished.

“Your name,” Loki chuckled. At this, everyone looked at him oddly. “What?” Then it hit him. “If you tell me no one here has read Tolkien’s ‘The Hobbit’, I’m going to just leave right now.”

“Oh!” Natasha snapped her fingers. “King Thorin is known by a different name in the Russian translation, no wonder he felt familiar.”

All eyes turned to Steve. The man was taken aback. “What?! I haven’t gotten that far in my list yet!” he exclaimed, feeling the need to defend himself.

Loki could only sigh. At least Natasha would be able to understand what he was saying, and she was most certainly an expert at translating intelligent speech into moron conversation. “Where were you, do you last remember?” he turned back to the waiting King.

“Laketown,” Thorin answered swiftly.

Natasha flinched at that. “I always disliked the rest of the book, but I read it to the end every time!”

Loki nodded in understanding. “I as well. The part where Bilbo-”

“Oh, you mean that part where he-”

“Yes, that!” “I hate when that-”

Barton and Thor slapped a hand over their respective partner’s mouth. It was just getting weird.

Thorin, however, looked to have his hackles raised. “How do you know of my consort?”

Natasha and Loki blanched. “CONSORT?!” They both exclaimed.

And though it was the writer’s demand, Natasha would later deny squealing ‘I knew it!’

“Well that just makes things a bit more complicated, doesn’t it?” Loki muttered. “Tell me, do you know if Stark has read the novels?” He turned to the Captain, who had since zoned out of the conversation.

“He’s read every book in this tower,” Steve replied, deadpan. “And we have two floors of libraries.” At the looks from the others, Steve could only shrug. “He gets insomnia and I have to set a time limit on how long he spends in his lab.” Bruce nodded in understanding.

“I think we should leave him there for the time being.”

Loki’s words were not taken well.

After Thor had managed to calm the others down enough, or at least lift Loki high enough so they couldn’t reach him, Loki explained his reasoning.

“Stark knows the story! He knows the plot-line, he knows the twists and turns, and he knows how to keep our King here from dying!” The God impatiently exclaimed. “He also has twelve dwarves to look after him, and a wizard who will eventually show up! Not only that, but Stark won’t suffer from the same gold-madness Thorin did in the novel, and I’m sure he’s already come up with some method of taking down that damn dragon without stepping a foot into Erebor until it’s safe!”

Well, Loki was right. About the knowledge bit.

But he still had Thorin standing under him and softly asking, “I’m going to die?”

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about re-writing Tony's first chapter, not too pleased with it... But hey, another chapter! So yay!
> 
> Also, yes, my head-canon Natasha is a fangirl. Duh.


	6. Tony - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is annoyed. Then again, he's stuck in a world filled with magic and no technology, so that's really just a given.

Tony had yet to sleep since he arrived. Only three days and already this new body was giving out! It was like the guy had never gone a night without sleep! But he really, really, couldn’t sleep yet. Oh, sure, he had tried. Bilbo had gotten on his nerves about sleeping, reminding Tony, painfully, of the blonde he had left behind. But the lack of the arc reactor, the heavy weight of the new body, all the hair… He just couldn’t! Not to mention it was awkward to both sleep without someone next to him and sleep in the same bed as Bilbo.

Bilbo had nodded as Tony haltingly explained this to him, and both decided that it would be good to still sleep in the same room, just in separate beds. They took comfort in speaking softly to each other at night, Tony telling Bilbo of his life back on Regular Earth, as they had begun to call it. Bilbo would in turn tell Tony how he and Thorin had fallen in love…

Because, as Tony had explained to the group of dwarves and one hobbit one morning over breakfast, the human was completely aware of what they were doing. At first, Dwalin had begun to shout and claim Tony was a sorcerer, Ori had had to whisper something in the large dwarf’s ear to make him stop. But as Tony had explained as he fiddled with the meager things the dwarves had to call weapons since their capture and detainment by the elves, he was from a universe where their entire world was contained in a book. That Tony had read over and over until he had it memorized as a child.

Gloin and Dwalin had been too busy inspecting the much improved weapons before them to concentrate on Tony’s story in the end, not that the genius minded. Tony rambled on some more, before slamming his hands down in frustration in his lack of materials and demanding to be taken to a smith-ery or whatever the hell they called it! Their host, Bard, had explained to the much more intimidating figure of Tony in Thorin’s body that, well, they really didn’t have one because, honestly, they LIVED ON A LAKE.

Tony had miserably sunk into his seat, head in his hands. “I can’t believe this,” he hissed. “I get stuck in a universe with magic as a dwarf, known for their skill with metal and fire and the like, and there isn’t even a forge I can fucking use!” That was when the human-dwarf sat up straight, eyes narrowed as he looked around at the gathering. “I need the forges in Erebor. Like, now.”

Silence reigned for a moment before Nori spoke up saying, “Um… Well, there’s a problem with that. There’s a dragon there, remember?”

Tony had looked at the pointy dwarf like he was insane. “And? We just need to lead him out here and get Bard to shoot him down! Really, it’s quite simple. After all, Smaug does have that missing scale that Bard’s father shot off.” Wide eyes were looking at him from all around. “What, that’s a true story.” Tony had to stop there and stare at nothing for a moment. “And that is not something I ever thought I would say about freaking Middle Earth.”

“Wait…” Bard murmured, stepping closer. “You… you mean my father really did hit Smaug? It wasn’t just a story he told?”

“Of course not! Bad luck that he only managed to shoot of the scale, but it’ll be useful to us. You’ll just have to shoot the dragon down once it’s on its way here! Oh, and make sure to get the bastard before he starts setting fire to everything.”

If the room hadn’t thought he was crazy before, they certainly did now. Or at least now they were convinced of the fact.

“Look,” Tony finally sighed, having to clasp his hands in front of him to keep himself from running them through his hair. His long, luxurious, braided hair that he wanted to chop off with a war ax. “In my world, there is one book containing this particular story. There’s another that’s not exactly a continuation, but it does take place in the same world with some of the same characters, but that’s not important at the moment.” Tony took a moment to meet the eyes of every single dwarf, hobbit, and human in the room. “I’ve read the books over and over again, I’ve learned elvish and the intricacies in every plot line. I know how your story ends. And I’m trying to give you a different one.”

“Why?” Bilbo finally asked quietly, coming to sit next to Tony.

“Because the owner of the body I’m in will die if I don’t,” Tony murmured softly, giving Bilbo a pained look. “As will Fili and Kili.” He turned his eyes to look at the brothers, whose shocked faces were hard to take in. They quickly intertwined themselves together, holding tightly, as if that would keep the other from disappearing. “Smaug will destroy this town, and a battle, a war, will take place. The Battle of the Five Armies.”

“Five armies…” Dwalin muttered. “What armies?”

“The elves,” Tony looked up, “The humans, the dwarves of the Iron Hills, and the Great Eagles, against…” Tony shuddered, looking down at his clasped hands. It was only beginning to dawn on him that this was now his battle, his war. That these creatures he spoke of were to be his enemies and allies… If things went according to plan, at least. “Against the goblins and wargs of Moria. Azog will be there, leading them.” Silence reigned heavily in the air, and any previous light heartedness of the day was sucked from existence.

“Azog will slay Thorin,” Tony whispered, turning to Bilbo, “while Thorin will slay Azog.” Bilbo was shivering and shaking, and Tony reached out and took Bilbo hand, even as the hobbit attempted to snatch it back. “But because I am here, and because I know these things, I can stop them.” Bilbo snapped his head up at that, watery eyes glimmering with hope. Tony smiled, though it was strained. “But I need help.”

Tony sat up and looked around the room once more. “From all of you. That does include you, Bard,” he said with a smile in the human’s direction. The man couldn’t helped but be stunned. “Oh, don’t look so shocked. Just remember, the ‘King Under the Mountain’ isn’t actually asking this of you, just a genius who’s saved the world he lives in more than once.”

Eyes turned to him.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” Tony at least had the good sense to look abashed. “Yeah… Sort of my thing back home… How I met the love of my life, actually! Just had to die first… Not that I stayed dead, really, I’m a Stark, I have a hard time with the whole concept of ‘death’ in itself, runs in the blood. I mean, my dad did help create a guy who slept in ice for 70 years without dying so….” Tony trailed off, realizing he had successfully lost everyone in attendance. “Sorry about that,” he muttered. “Steve usually stops me when I ramble… feel free to just tell me to shut up.”

“We’ll remember that,” Dwalin muttered, and even though it was spoken harshly, Tony could swear that there was a bit of humor hidden behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say something.
> 
> To all of you who wrote me: Thank you.
> 
> I felt all the love. I actually cried. I never thought people would like my stories enough, care enough, to write me such wonderful ideas and thoughts.
> 
> What we have here is just a glimpse into what you guys have given me the inspiration to write. I didn't want to do a half-assed job, with all fluff and no substance. So I'm going to do just that. It's going to take me a while, but I want to make this a good story. For all my fans out there.


	7. Thorin - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK. OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER IS LONG OVERDUE.
> 
> And with me comes Loki with hope for a sickness that has plagued the Durin line for too long...

“Alright,” Clint murmured, snapping the phone shut and heading over to Steve and Thor. They were watching Loki and Thorin interact, sitting close together on the couch and murmuring back and forth. Loki seemed to be the only one Thorin really trusted at the moment, because he had been the only one to tell him the truth of his situation. “Coulson is on it, he’s contacting Strange to see if there’s anything the guy can do.”

Steve rolled his eyes. From his own dealings with the Sorcerer Supreme, he had gathered the man was not one to help unless he felt like it. But maybe that was just Tony’s hatred of all things magic rubbing off on him…

“It’s the best we can do, at the moment,” Thor murmured, mistaking Steve’s dark look for worry. “Do not worry, my friend, Anthony can care for himself, even in the direst situation.”

Steve rubbed his forehead, sighing heavily. “I know, Thor, I know… I’m just… I wish there was something I could do.”

Clint shook his head. “Man, you can’t always be there to protect him. Besides, he was saving his own ass before you came along, he’s capable of doing it as many times as needed.” Steve nodded, knowing Clint was correct. “What are they talking about, anyways?” the archer nodded his head towards the two out-of-place men with their heads together.

“We are talking about nothing that concerns you, Barton,” Loki called loudly, making the agent wince, though only at being caught prying. Thor chuckled deeply while Steve just smirked at his friend.

“ _The reasoning for keeping you here is solid, Master Oakenshield,_ ” Loki switched effortlessly into the guttural language of the Darrow’s, though even the rough language lilted in beauty as it slid from the trickster’s tongue. “T _he Company will be fine without you, and with Anthony they may be able to avert the disaster that your presence causes._ ”

“ _What disaster?_ ” The King hissed shortly. “ _I am not unreliable, as your companions seem to think I am!_ ”

Loki chuckled, though there was true amusement in his blue eyes. “ _They are not my companions, Master Dwarf_ ,” he muttered, eyes casting a sharp glance at the three blondes who were currently pretending not to watch them. “ _The Line of Durin suffers from Gold Madness, and in your stay here I will strive to find a cure, or deterrent, of some sort. If you were to be there in Anthony’s stead, however, you would quickly fall victim to it and hurt that which you hold dearest._ ”

Thorin’s eyes widened in horror. “ _I would never hurt my One!_ ” he growled, features quickly morphing into one of rage.

“ _You would,_ ” Loki growled in turn, features defiant. “ _Maybe not of your own volition, but still you would! That fact that you are here allows you a chance to change that fate, but you must allow the Avengers and I to help you._ ”

Thorin slowly inclined his head in reluctant acceptance, eyes clouded in shame, but over what Loki could not say… Nor did he truly want to.

“Captain,” Loki called, not looking away from the King. “I would request you show me and Master Oakenshield to Dr. Banner’s labs.” He looked up to see the reluctance in the blue eyes, only clearing when Thor smiled and laid a hand on the good Captain’s shoulder.

“Come, brother, Steven and I will show you,” he boomed, grinning widely. Loki could only roll his eyes, standing gracefully and Thorin followed suit in the body he was still not used to. And if Thorin saw the soft smile that adorned Loki’s lips as his brother silently defended him, he wisely did not comment.

“Why do you require Bruce’s lab, if I may ask,” Steve’s question was quiet, but his tone still demanded an answer as the four descended in the lift.

“I am going to attempt to find a cure for a sickness that runs through his family’s bloodlines,” Loki stated simply, eyes staring straight ahead. “It is of utmost importance, if his story is to have a happy ending.”

The lift stopped and the four stepped out into a clean, white, spacious room. It was filled to the brim with different scientific equipment, and Bruce Banner pattered around the lab in not a hurry, but almost in a methodical rush. Probably to keep his mind off the current state of his friend, Loki noted absently.

“Captain,” Loki said suddenly, turning to the leader of the team. “Would it be too much to ask of you to find Miss Romanov and ask for her assistance?”

Steve looked at him oddly for a moment before a smile adorned his lips. “Hey, JARVIS? Mind asking Natasha to come down here?” He addressed the ceiling and Loki could not repress his body from jumping when a voice came from nowhere.

“She is currently on her way, Captain,” the AI answered. Loki’s head swiveled from side to side along with Thorin’s, who was still not used to the detached voice.

“That is JARVIS,” Thor quietly told Loki, placing a comforting hand against his back as Steve strode into the lab to let Bruce know of their presence. “Anthony created him, he is a computer program that is gifted with the intelligence of a human. He is in every part of the tower and will answer whatever questions or requests you may have.”

Loki sent a questioning look up at the ceiling. “Alright…” he murmured, leaning into his brother’s touch. “If you are comfortable with his presence, I shall be as well.”

The smile that lit up Thor’s face was worth any uncomfortableness that Loki may feel at the constant watch on him.

“You needed me?” Natasha asked as the lift opened to reveal her. She stepped forward as Bruce finished talking with Steve and headed towards them.

“Yes,” Loki murmured. “I was hoping for your help with a small quest of our own,” he sent a glance towards Thorin, who shifted uncomfortably. “Doctor Banner?” Loki turned towards the physicist as he stopped before them. “You are knowledgeable in the art of medicine, I have heard.”

“Well, I’m not a medical doctor but-”

Loki held up a hand. “All I need is your assurance you can run some tests and help us determine if an illness that persists in Master Oakenshield’s blood is a medical or magical malady.”

Bruce thought for a moment before tilting his head forwards. “I can help with that,” he agreed with a small smile. “Though I’ll need some sort of starting point.”

“That is where Miss Romanov will hopefully come in,” Loki turned to her with a conspiratorial smile adorning his lips. Natasha could not help but raise a brow, smile lifting her lips. “I am in need of Anthony Stark’s blood tests, from before he was sent into another universe.”

“And you want me to get it from SHIELD,” she finished with a feral grin. “Now that, I can do. Give me a few hours, I’ll be back!” She spun on her heel, lifting a hand and waving farewell before she entered the lift and was off.

“I guess that’s my cue,” Bruce said with a smile. “If you’ll follow me, Master Oakenshield, I believe I have a few baseline tests I can begin running while we wait for Natasha.” Thorin shrugged and followed Bruce further into the lab, forced to trust this team if he was to keep… to keep the most important thing to ever enter his life… safe.

Loki nodded to Thor and Steve before following the two, his eyes solemn as thoughts flew through his mind, ideas that jumped from place to place. Thor knew the look. The Thunderer laid a comforting hand on Steve’s arm, smile soft. “I’ll keep an eye on them, don’t worry. Go, one of us has to keep Fury from invading this place to investigate. And Clint is… not quite up to the job,” Thor murmured with an attempt at humor.

Steve snorted softly, looking to the ground. It took him a moment, but he nodded. “Alright, alright,” he muttered, raising a hand to wave Thor off. “I’ll go, don’t worry, I won’t hover…” With one last glance to the familiar body that no longer held the man he loved, Steve spun on his heel and retreated to the lift.

Thor raised a hand and waved to the super soldier, smile sad. He knew what it was like to look at the one you loved and no longer see them there, a stranger in their stead… He took a deep breath and turned, warm eyes taking in Loki darting around the lab, gathering the supplies Bruce needed. He was recovering, albeit slowly, but…

This seemed to be what he needed. A purpose. Thor smiled and strode forward, ready to join his brother on a quest together at long last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this is so late... I just lost the spark to write this and I did NOT want to give you guys a sub-par work. But! I'm back now! And I may have no idea where Tony is going with his plan in the next chapter, but I'm excited for it!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all liked the newest installment!
> 
> ALSO!
> 
> In case anyone is interested, I would very much appreciate having someone beta my work. If you're interested, just comment down below! I'd be so grateful if someone could help me out...


	8. Tony - Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.

“I’m not arguing with you!” Tony hissed, rubbing his aching forehead, brow furrowed in annoyance. “Look, my theory is sound and you can do more good outside of Erebor than inside!” He was becoming tired of repeating himself to the two stubborn nephews of the owner of the body he currently resided in. They were being just… Ugh!

“We’ll be seen as cowards! We’ll be cowards!” Fili hissed. Of course the one Tony expected to have a lick of sense was only half a step above his brother. It wasn’t promising. “If this plan fails, we have to be there to protect Bilbo!”

At this, Tony leveled the two with a flat look, uncaring about the way they would be seen by the rest of the Dwarrow community as long as he could keep them alive. “I will be there to protect your uncle,” the human-dwarrow muttered. “In case you had forgotten, I am a skilled warrior as well! I am perfectly capable of defending both myself and our burglar. And, I have decided where you will be precisely for if the plan _does_ fail!”

Kili looked like he would argue further, but Tony quickly put a stop to that by holding a hand up for silence. “Besides that,” he muttered. “Bard is the only who will be needing the most protection. He has one chance with that black arrow, and you two need to make sure his concentration will remain solely on bringing down that beast if it turns out you are needed.”

The brothers were silent for a moment before Fili nodded harshly, looking away in annoyance. He grabbed his younger brother’s arm when Kili opened his mouth to argue, stopping him from voicing any dissent.

The house creaked around them, seemed as if it was rocking on the gentle waves of the lake. Over the past week Tony had noticed a perpetual damp hung from the rafters, the walls, the very nails that kept the floor together. The silence the surrounded them, holding tight as if it were afraid of the cold emptiness of the house. Not home, because no matter how Tony looked around the place, no matter where he wandered, he knew that this was no home.

Tony finally sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Just… go help Bard and the others. They’ll need it.” Fili nodded and bowed stiffly, all while Kili pouted darkly at Tony before being physically dragged away by his older brother. It was something Tony had noticed, that Kili was apparently incapable of glaring at his uncle, even if said uncle’s body was currently inhabited by someone else.

A small cough alerted him to Bilbo entering the room silently, smiling awkwardly at the human-turned-dwarf. It was only because of Natasha that Tony had been unperturbed by Bilbo’s silent feet, but he had made sure the hobbit understood that unless he wanted to walk in on anything he could not un-see, it was be best if he alerted others before he walked in.

Bilbo had taken to it like a fish to water.

“You okay?” the small blonde asked, adjusting the coat lent to him by Kili, which had been re-sized temporarily by Dori. He was wearing an old pair of Bard’s shoes, which each of the dwarrows had taken a turn wearing, making sure the smell of dwarf permeated the leather. He knew it must have been uncomfortable for the hobbit, but this was one of the small things he could do to keep him safe, and make sure he didn’t burn.

“Just frustrated with those two,” Tony muttered, nodding towards where Fili and Kili had exited the shack-turned-home. “I’m already messing with the timeline, something I have been told on numerous occasions by numerous people not to do, so I’d rather make sure everyone is safe! You’re safe,” he told Bilbo, who had gone pale. “You’re the protagonist, and these books were written before it became popular to kill off the main character.” This only proved to turn Bilbo an even paler shade. “I said don’t worry!” Tony attempted to defend himself.

“Alright,” Bilbo took a large, calming breath. “I’m going to ignore all that for right now and simply ask what exactly you are planning.” The look the hobbit gave him left no room for avoidance.

Tony took a moment to glance around the room they were in once more. It was… lighter, somehow. For all that this place was a shack held together with some rubber bands and wishes, with someone as purely good as Bilbo in the room, it seemed… not so much like a room on stilts. It felt more like a home. It gave Tony a deeper understanding as to why Thorin, a King of a great Dwarven empire, had fallen in love with the simple gentlehobbit.

“Well…” Tony chuckled awkwardly. “I’m about to mess with the timeline, something I’ve been told on multiple occasions by multiple people is a very stupid and dangerous thing to do, but stupid and dangerous should be tattooed on my forehead by now, really!” Bilbo was still giving him the look, one Steve had used on him countless times and he was still unable to defend himself against, so Tony could only sigh helplessly. “Look, I know you’ll hate it, but please! This is the only thing that I can think of that will save not only your lives, but the lives of millions in the years to come! By doing this, we are preventing the greatest war to ever lay siege to this realm!”

“I get all that, I do, but now you’re going to have to tell me how you plan to do this,” Bilbo tapped his foot pointedly, becoming impatient with the genius.

“I’mgoingtoaskSmaugifhe’llmaybeflyusoverMountDoomsowecanthrowtheOneRingintotheflamesfromwhenceitcame,” Tony was hoping Bilbo would be satisfied with his very rushed answer.

If the look Tony was currently getting was anything to go by, he wasn’t.

“Okay…” Tony finally sighed, hanging his head. “You’re not going to like it, though.”

“Try me,” Bilbo tested with a raised brow.

“Well… Dragons are not inherently evil, even in this world. The evil that exists in this world is extremely strong, and it can do something Smaug will be terrified of: it can take control of him. He’ll be forced to leave his mountain and fight for someone who will torture and beat him for nothing but entertainment. And I’m going to play on that,” Tony explained, his eyes serious and the corners of his mouth quirked down. “We have something that will determine if that evil rises or falls in our possession. Or, more accurately,” at this, he looked straight at Bilbo, “in _your_ possession.”

Bilbo blinked, looking taken aback. “My…?”

“That Ring that makes you invisible,” Tony told him with a sad smile. “And don’t try to deny that you have it. You got it from Gollum in the goblin caves. It spoke to you, tempted you to take it. That’s what it does, it tempts people, controls them. Turns them into things that they were never meant to be. Gollum… you couldn’t tell what kind of creature he was, right?”

Tony waited for Bilbo’s hesitant nod.

“Well… a long time ago, in another lifetime, he was… He was a Hobbit,” Tony said with a sigh. Bilbo’s eyes widened in horror and revulsion, and he looked at his pocket like it was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. “But I need you to hold onto that Ring, Bilbo. You’re the only one who can hold it without being bent to its will. I cannot take it and neither can Gandalf,” Tony quickly interjected when it looked like Bilbo was about to argue. “I may reside in the body of a dwarrow, but I am still a Man, easily capable of being overtaken by the cursed thing. Gandalf is much the same.”

“So… What are we going to do with it?” Bilbo asked hesitantly. “I can’t just keep carrying such an evil thing around, if what you saw is true!”

“And you won’t!” Tony declared brightly. “Look, my plan is to make a deal with Smaug. Dragons are smart, and when they see something that will benefit them, they take it. I’m going to ask him to fly us over Mount Doom, where the Ring was made and the only place it can be destroyed. We throw it into the fiery pits from whence it came and it all ends, right there. And, okay, riding on a dragon may not sound all that fun, but if he agrees, it’ll be the safest way to ensure that no one gets hurt, and a way to get into the good graces of the dragon _you_ are trying to get out of the mountain!”

Bilbo was looking at Tony like he was insane, and, okay, there was still some debate on that particular subject, but the idea was sound! Course, he didn’t really have a plan in case it didn’t work, but that had always been more of Steve’s thing…

“I’m, like, 89.2% sure this will work,” Tony said with a confident smile. At Bilbo’s less than impressed look, he merely shrugged. “I’ve done stupider things on lower odds, and it’s really a much better plan than going in with your swords swinging and attempting to kill a dragon by yourselves. Plus it gives us time to get rid of the Arkenstone as well!”

“Why?” Was all Bilbo had to ask.

“Oh, right, the Arkenstone drives your boyfriend insane and he almost kills you. So, really, it’s best to get rid of the thing before that happens,” Bilbo was frantically nodding at this point, though whether it was the insane part or the almost-death part that got him, Tony had no idea.

“So our plan is to walk up to a dragon and threaten/ask him to help us and then ride on his back across Middle Earth so we can destroy a ring,” Bilbo clarified. Tony nodded. “Alright, let’s pretend that this isn’t insane and it’s going to work. What then? We’ll still have a gigantic dragon on our hands and it most certainly can’t stay in Erebor!”

“Oh, right, yeah, I’ve got about… 67% of a plan on that subject?” Tony hesitantly told his friend. “I’ll need to ask the people from my realm once they come and get me, but I’m sure it’ll work out. We actually need Smaug, anyways, we’ve got to get his help for the Battle of the Five Armies.”

“The what?” Bilbo had lost Tony long ago, but he could still try, confound it!

“Not important,” Tony waved him away. “What is important is that we don’t tell any of the dwarves about this plan until we have Smaug on our side. And even then, we’re going to have to leave before they can restrain us. And before Gandalf gets here, that’s important to. Because he’ll more than likely be pissed at me for messing with the time-stream, but I know what I’m doing. Kind of.”

Bilbo looked at Tony for a long moment, just taking in the confidence that exuded from the dwarrow-man. It was different than Thorin’s air, which was confidence born of an inborn right to rule and the ability to pull through. Tony’s was confidence born of certainty, of knowing he was always going to come out right. It was the kind of confidence they needed right now.

“Oh, bloody hell, why not?”

Tony grinned manically. _Now_ it began!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE HAD THIS DONE FOREVER I'M SO SORRY.
> 
> Also, just to clarify, Tony's opinion of Bard's house changes as he realizes some of the things he's missing in his own home. He's noticing how warm it is because he's becoming attached to the people there and because he misses those back home.


End file.
